Steve, John and Crew run frantically towards the stage.
Crew: Too bad we don’t have any more silver foil, we were quite a hit with the kids.
Stookie Bill: We? I think you’ll find yours truly was the star of the show. Leave this to an old hand.
Stookie Bill addresses the audience being held aloft by Crew.
Stookie Bill: Hello again boys and girls! I hope you’re all keeping warm!
The audience genuinely cheer to see Stookie Bill again and he appears to have developed some kind of cult following among the crowd as some people keep calling out ‘KNICKERS!’.
Stookie Bill: Now it’s lovely to see you again ladies and gentlemen but I do have a small problem.
A voice from the audience: I heard it was big enough.
Stookie Bill: Ooooh cheeeky.
Crew and Steve anxiously look around to see that Sting and Elton Jones, with the assistance of the military scientists appear to be almost satisfied that their pink laser is ready.
Steve: Get to the meat Stookie they’re nearly ready.
Stookie Bill: As if being reminded of something important Oh yes, the meat ladies and gentlemen. Are you ready for the meat? Would you like the meat?
Voice from the audience: Give it to me red raw Stookie!
Stookie Bill: Well here’s the meat then. What it is is that these men behind me and their friends are about to switch on a piece of equipment which will make you all into violent mindless Zombies.
There is laughter and the audience assume it is a joke.
Stookie Bill: This might be where I regret my previous frivolousness and easy jocularity, the thing is it’s very serious and very real boys and girls. They’ve given us the chance to tell you before hand, probably because they know you won’t believe us anyway.
Another voice: But it’s Sting, everybody loves Sting.
Sting momentarily looks up from tinkering with the pink laser and gives a little wave and a smile. There is an enormous roar from the audience which takes several moments during which time Steve, Crew and even Stookie Bill cannot get a word in against the excitement the audience still feel for cynical millionaire pop-stars with dubious global-political agendas. They look at each other for a few moments impotently.
Elton Jones: There we are, all ready. Your friend and mine Stookie Bill was telling the truth you know, but there’s not a lot you’ll be able to do about it now. Prepare to be TRANSFORMED!
Just then there is a terrible low rumble coming from the Intervision screen and now the audience, Steve Crew, John and Stookie Bill notice now that the pressure of the Bose Einstein condensate is out of control and at extremely unsafe levels of flux.
John: The Plasma needs venting.
Steve: It’s too late, it’s going to explode.
The sound and the visible activity of the Intervision screen is enough of a signal that they are all in immediate danger.
John and Crew jump down from the stage and work with the festival security to remove low security barriers so people can freely escape the front of the audience without getting crushed.
Steve: Ladies and gentlemen don’t panic, but it’s going to explode get as far away from the main stage as possible, but don’t panic.
Elton Jones: What? No, it’s ok, we’re going to vent the plasma. It’ll be safe enough. The show isn’t finished. You have to stay! You have to stay!
Elton, Sting and the military scientists run over to take control of the control desk of the now dangerously out of control Intervision screen which seems to be now showing something like volcanic activity inside the thick glass screen.
Sting and Elton Jones run over to the control desk of the Intervision screen meanwhile the audience have scrambled out from the front of stage.
Elton: It’s ok, it’s ok, we’ve got it all under control you can come back now. We’ve activated the fail safe, it’s going to be fine. The Intervision screen full of volatile super cold electro-magnetic plasma now starts to slowly sink into the ground.
Sting: It’s going to be ok. Everybody can come back and we’ll finish the show.
The screen continues to descend until it is just below ground level. The running audience now seem to slow down their escape and some people stop and turn around to make their way back. Suddenly there is a huge explosion and the Intervision screen explodes like a giant balloon made of glass releasing super cold plasma lava over Sting, Elton Jones and destroying all of the jet-set pop Satanists intent on ushering in the Dark Archon Lovecraft demonic hierarchy. The explosion from the plasma radiates out, then the vacuum condition which is now some feet below ground from the Intervision screen instantly brings everything caught in its freezing jaws deep into the underground chasm. Pop-stars, people, wigs, small dogs and high heel shoes all tumble into a frozen vacuum chasm of death which is an antechamber to what will be pop-star hell.
The explosion forced the pace all the more and those that had lingered to the soft siren call of Elton Jones' voice pleading for them to return now redoubled their efforts and sprinted away from the site if the cataclysm.
Crew: So that’s that then eh?
Steve: Looks like it.
Crew: I wonder if Dr Kemble made it out.
John: There’s the beer tent, if he’s anywhere he’ll be there.
Crew: Can we get pissed now Steve? I think we saved the world after all.
Steve: We still have a problem. We saved the world from the Archons but we haven't saved it from us. All of these people, including us are infected with the black-death space virus, and although they have the antidote the people they come into contact with do not. Billions will die.
Crew: Hmm. Well there’s not a lot we can do about that.
John: All these people, right now they’re stampeding towards their cars, in a couple of hours they’ll be in all corners of London and in a few hours more they’ll be in all corners of the country and in a couple of days, the infection will reach all corners of the world.
Crew: Ok, but can we get drunk now?
Steve: I’m afraid not. We need to do something.
Steve: I’ve no idea.
Crew: Ok, then my getting pissed idea is better than nothing.
John: We could just let them go, and let this thing take its course. Maybe there are too many people in the world. Imagine after a few weeks and once the bodies have been cleared what a beautiful clean and empty new world we will have. All the popstars are dead so there’ll be no more of that nonsense. They won’t be able to keep what happened here a secret since it’s all just gone out live, they just expected there wouldn’t be any humans left to do anything about it. But with most of the people gone and with only a relative few people who were immunized maybe even we could take control of the country and make this a decent place for once.
Steve and Crew say nothing.
Stookie Bill: Sounds good to me, maybe the radio wouldn’t be so full of strange noises any more that make me feel ill and I can enjoy music I can actually listen to.
John Hampton: Or…
Crew: There’s an 'or'?
John Hampton: Yes, but I will have to be quick. I could make a call to someone and tell them everything we know and what has just happened. Tell them there is an antidote, and they will be able to come here and obtain a sample. Perhaps if I called and they acted in time they would get the army here and seal off the roads before any of these people got out, it's only country roads here for 30 miles or so. It could be done. It would save the world, and probably things would go back to what they were before.
Steve: So what do we do?
They are all silent in thought for a moment.